Steinbeck uses scripture from Ecclesiastes 4:8-12 to once again illustrate the need for working together. Read the following passage:
"There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment? This too is meaningless--a miserable business! Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Discuss a time in your own life when you have either helped a friend who has "fallen" or you have defended a friend who would have been "overpowered" without you. Note: it may have been a verbal defense, not a physical defense. Be sure to read each other's answers!
23 comments:
Im not certain that i can say by my own experiences that i have defended friends. I have however, been a friend that was defended by another friend. As in an earlier post i told of the story of my fear and how i overcame it. I was glad to have the friends that i did at this time. Had i not had them, then i wouldnt have been able to survive the rest of the school year. They would defend me constantly and i cannot express my thanks to them in enough words and actions. Even though they all agree that it is nothing, it meant everything to me.
In today's world, I think every single teen has at one point or another had to help someone else out with depression issues. Society has run straight into a serious depression crisis that few psychologists know how to handle. The novel prescribes the best medication for any sort of emotional trouble: support.
In the book, every character that manages to pull through until the end of the story had to rely on someone else for at least some time. This reflects reality in that no one actually makes it by themselves.
I agree with Allison about how teens go through depression at one point or another. I remember when my best friend told me that he got his girlfriend pregnant. He was in total shock and he didn't know what to do. I could tell that he was depressed and scared. So, I told him to come over after school that Friday so we could talk. We stayed up until 3 in the morning talking in my livingroom about it. If he wouldn't have set down and talked to me I dunno what he would have done. I'm glad that I could be there for him. Now, a year later he is married and has a healthy 3 month old baby girl.
Growing up with two older brothers, I have always just had to call on them when I was having trouble, and they would defend me. I'm glad to have had them around when i was young. They wouldn't necessarily fight my battles for me, but they would give me advice on what to do without completely spoiling me. Granted, they were pretty mean to me at times, but I knew that they would help me out if I ever needed them to.
My older sister, Tamara, is always by my side through thick and thin. She has not always been the nicest to me, but she is always willing to listen when I need the most. She supports me in my choices no matter what. Just recently she was frightened about a sight she had seen and called to tell me about it. In this way I try to give the support she gives me to her.
Our football season had many ups and downs this year. The lowest point of the year for my friend, Andrew Braxton, would have to be the game against Goddard. Andrew had perhaps the worst game of his life, fumbling twice in two critical parts of the game. After the game (which we lost), some members of the team yelled at Andrew, blaming the loss on him. I told them to back off and told Andrew not to listen to them. He thanked me and later went on to finish the season as a first team all-state tailback.
I agree with Allison, how in reality, no one really can make it solely on their own. Companionship is part of life and in order to survive you have to be there for your friends and family, especially when they've hit an all time low. A few years ago my friend's parents got a divorce. Although this SO common in America today, it is still an incredibly rough situation to deal with. I was there for her as much as possible, but at the time, in more of a sympathetic way. However, a year later my parents separated, and I experienced what my friend had been experiencing. In return my friends were all there for me. I really appreciated their support and it made me realize that my situation could be so much worse then it is, which helped my look on the bright side of things.
Although I cannot recall a specific instance of helping a fallen friend, in my friendships, helping each other is something that happens on a daily basis. Frequently, we will be either stressed or upset by something and a friend can be a stable, helpful influence for that person in their everyday times of need, even if its not an extraordinary circumstance. As a friend, I also know that you have to push your other friends to do whats best for themselves sometimes. I often do that for them, and they return the favor by helping me to make the right decisions, even if they are difficult.
I know we've said it in class before, but I wanted to bring up Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs from psychology. It states that, once the physical needs to survive are met, people need friends, family, and close relationships in order to fully develop as a human being. Without friends, teengers would be especially miserable. Although no specific example of supporting a fallen friend comes to my mind, I know that, when I have helped friends overcome hardships, it has been a positive experience for me, as well as my friends. Ever since I was young, I have always felt a responsibility to defend the underdog, at least to some extent, and feel that, in doing so, will have friends there to support me when I need it.
Allison could not have said it any better! Being a teen, and being a good friend are both hard. A mix of being a child, and a taste of the real world are all being thrown towards us at once. As a friend I feel I should WANT to be there for a friend who may "fall," not HAVE to. A friend of mine is dealing with some life changing events, and I am more than willing to stay home late, or rush to her side when she is upset. Not only for her, but her family members too. From personally experience, there is nothing better than knowing atleast one person can catch you when you may fall.
In 2003, my good friend Ryun Cosette was killed in a car wreck. At the service all of the kids that knew him banded together and consoled each other and helped each other get through the pain and suffering. I was part of that giant group. There wasn't a dry eye in the entire church.
Kyle, I too shared in that experience and that was a perfect example of banding together to get through a tough situation. The speaker of the passage says, “…pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” He could have not said it any better, for I can relate this to my life right now. Recently my mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I could not imagine my family getting through this difficult time without the love and support of others. This situation is not necessarily a verbal or physical defense against another person, but the disease itself. Luckily our family knows others who have gone through the exact experience, or others who are willing to help bring by dinner on nights that my mom could not cook. This situation parallels the speaker’s strife, but fortunately, we are not alone in it, for my family has a community of people helping and that is stronger than a single family.
My "special" friend is from Phoenix. Needless to say, Salina is a bit different from a city that big. I have been able to support him while he has been here. He also helps me by listening to anything i throw at him. Also, many a time we have supported each other by listening to problems we have with our families. Although we love our families, we both have divorced parents, which gives us experiences that we share with each other. We are both always available to listen to each other, and that is a wonderful kind of friend to have.
There have been many different times in my life where a friend has helped pick me up and dust me off when I have stumbled. A recent occasion was when an item of great value was stolen from me. My friend stayed with me, helped me search every nook and cranny, and most of all listened. She even grabbed a box of tissues for me when it could not be found. When others provided rude and thoughtless words, she provided verbal defense to shield me. That was the worst week of my life, with my week stained with theft and news of moving. My friend helped comfort me, put up with me when I wasn’t pleasant and left me alone when I needed to collect my thoughts.
I have a friend who has not lead a very good life: drinking, smoking, sex, drugs, dropping out of school, job hopping, etc. There are times when a person will be talking about how much trouble that girl is and that she needs to be sent to prison...you get the picture.
The thing that grinds my nerves the worst is talking about a person behind their back and then pretending to be their friend to their face. Of course, that is all high school is, but moving on.
There were a group of people at The City who were just hashing my friend's life to pieces - and they barely knew her! I sat there, listening, with my irritation growing. When my friend came over to the group and started up a conversation, everyone was being really nice and everything. However, the minute she walked away, they started up again with the rumors they had heard about her, and this and that.
I finally had had enough, stood up and walked over to the group. They welcomed me in and continued their conversation. I cleared my throat and asked how they knew what they were talking about. One girl revealed that she had heard rumors at school and just knew they were false.
I asked them if they had said anything to her about this. All of them just got that "yeah right!" look on their faces and sneered. I called my friend over and asked her if she knew these people. She was pretty confused, but started naming them off, save for a few she did not recognize.
I asked her if she considered them to be friends, mutual or personal included. She said that she would say that most of them were her friends. My friend left after that (probably wondering the reason why I was asking all of those strange questions...)
After she left, I let them have it. I spoke$ to them about talking about people behind their backs, pretty much just made them feel one inch tall. I told them that that was my best friend and that they had NO right to talk about her and not bring it up to her face.
If you need a friend you must be a friend. If you are good hearted and defend those people that need help defending themselves when the time comes and you need help their will be people their willing to help you. I agree with Allison, as society puts more pressure on kids to succeed and this success becomes ever harder to reach it is easy to give up hope on yourself. I know for myself at least it would be so much harder getting through the daily school grind if i didn't have others doing it with me. When you see your classmates working hard it makes u pick up your pencil even though you are tired and need a nap and you start writing. We all feed off of each others success. I am happy to have the caliber of people in my classes that motivate me to work when i don't feel up to it. The very people on this blog help me keep my grades up whether they know it or not.
My brother, sister, and I have been raised to defend each other thoroughly. Since we are currently all teenagers and all of us have been through our own personal trials and tribulations, it is an amazing feeling to always be aware that they are constantly there to support me and my ideas. It is equally incredible to have the responsibility to defend the people I love and care about so much.
Helping others is a major theme throughout The Grapes of Wrath. In any high schooler's life, they have to help friends in one way or another. As many have probable experienced, people in our age group tend to be "two-faced". That is, being nice to a person's face, yet talking bad about them behind their back, similar to Journey's story. I tend to get aggravated when people talk badly about my friends, especially if they don't know all the facts about a situation. Therefore, I have unfortunately been put in the situation where I have had to defend one friend to another when they were talking badly about the other. However, in one case a few weeks ago, one of my friends (Friend 1) was claiming that another friend (Friend 2) was always "two-faced" which bugged me. The most irritating aspect of this situation was the fact that Friend 1 was essentially being two-faced as well because she was typically nice to Friend 2's face. Therefore, when this incident was going down and Friend 2 was not present to defend herself, I had to put my foot down. I told Friend 1 to examine was she was saying as well as her actions towards Friend 2. This was my way of defending Friend 2. I informed Friend 2 about the situation and she was incredibly hurt by the situation. Almost as she had "fallen". As a result I reassured Friend 2 that Friend 1's comments were superficial and her "real" friends knew the truth and did not have the same feelings. This situation dealt with both a friend being "overpowered" and "falling" and I was caught in the middle.
P.S. Sorry if that was confusing without names.
Since my father is a heart surgeon he has dealt with life and death throughout his career. He is successful in his procedures 95% of the time, but on that rare occasion that he can't seem to save the patient he becomes devastated. We can all imagine what it's like to have someone's life in our hands, but none of us have experienced it first hand. He does this on a daily basis. There was one particular time where the life lost happened to be a very close family friend, and my dad didn't quite know how to take it. I was fairly young at the time and didn't know how to comfort him, but i made sure that i was doing exceptionally well in school, and was acting responsible so he wouldn't have to worry about keeping me on task. Through prayer, and family he got through it.
During lunch, i think, is the most dangerous time for friends. When we are all sitting around trying to eat our lunch in a hurried manner to get done in time and try to have a little social interaction, is when most of the damage happens. Its when everyone talks about the gossip like who dumped who, "look at what she is wearing", and "i am so sick of (insert name here)". Unfortunately i was stuck in the middle of a dicussion of how my best friend wears too tight of shorts and how gross it is. Well they expected me to sit there and listen to them bad mouth her. I defended her, left the table, and found my friend and told her what was going on. It was hard to decide wether i sit their and listen to my other friends and not let it get to me, or defend her and maybe sever my relationship with the others. I decided that my other friend was more important because she didn't have a chance to defend herself, and somebody had to do it. And now that i think about it, I'm glad I was the one that did it for her.
In my various encounters as a superhero whisking through the night sky I have many a time rescued a wary soul. I distinctly remember a time when I witnessed the bullying of a timid businessman hurrying past a deserted office building. Two thugs, the meanest and nastiest to reside in this little town we call home, corned this small man and intended to have some fun at this mans expense, of course. Outraged, I dropped from above, spooking these thugs with the crunching impact I created on the cement walkway behind them. My growl was enough to scare them away at this point, leaving just me and the terrified businessman alone. I helped the man to his feet, but before he could thank me I disappeared back into the night.
Very recently, I was the fallen friend. I am what some call a "closet emotional". I feel when I cry, it is a sign of weakness. I feel uncomfortable hugging people. Until recently, no one had seriously ever seen my cry, or be really down about anything. I consider myself a very strong person, but one of my friends saw through my false front a week or two ago, and were there, despite my attempts to assure them that I was fine. They let me be upset and cry, without thinking I was weak or stupid for being so sad, and that in itself was the best helping hand I have ever experienced.
Society today can foster much enjoyment for teens, yet it can also be the cause of much depression among these teens. For some teens this depression becomes too much to bear alone, and without the support of close friends, they would most likely have given up hope that things will get better. In my own life, this time came during middle school when I, along with many other students, had difficulty adjusting to life in middle school.
Post a Comment